Reaffirm living amends when best, and adjust your plan when necessary to keep momentum going. There are gray areas when https://ecosoberhouse.com/ it comes to this process and you don’t want to cause additional harm to those who depend on you. Remember that keeping personal safety boundaries must always be prioritized. AA doesn’t push a unique flavor of amends, as human relationships are nuanced and not every harm can be corrected.
How to Approach Step 9 of AA: Making Amends the Right Way
Membership is open to anyone who wants to do something about their drinking problem. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. That’s what happens when we bring justice back into our lives by making amends. People who become addicted to alcohol or other drugs might lie, cheat, or steal in order to get and use their chemical of choice. Often what’s left behind is a trail of shattered relationships. When approaching a relationship with God or anyone else, you need a good line of communication.
- The three primary types of amends are direct amends, indirect amends, and living amends.
- This step involves a life-long commitment to make yourself a better person.
- Life is complicated and not always straightforward or black and white.
- I do not expect anything in return and sincerely appreciate you taking the time to (read or listen) to me.
- View step 9 as an exercise on patience, tolerance and goodwill toward other people.
- For step 9 to be successful, you must be willing to make things right.
Navigating Step Nine: Living Amends
Making the list and including those you are never going to see or talk to again becomes essential to personal healing. These emotions are recognized and used to our advantage when we understand the essence of amends is to take responsibility for our feelings and behavior. It can be difficult to recognize all the ways your actions may have hurt others. These examples highlight different types of harm, such as emotional, financial, and relational that can help you create a more living amends definition honest and complete list. Making a list of those we have harmed is an exercise in becoming a giver instead of a taker. The Big Book cautions against approaching someone we have harmed to make ourselves feel better about our past.
- The act of making amends is not merely about saying sorry; it is an essential part of forgiveness, restoration, and moving forward.
- Show that you understand the impact of your past actions and are committed to making things right.
- Be prepared for the rejection, anger, hurt and reactions of dismissiveness from others.
- Our team will follow up with you after receiving your edits.
Recovery Resources
Success on AA Step 9 is more about following the process with a compassionate attitude than rebuilding every relationship affected by alcohol addiction. Pace your desire to make things right with how prepared you are to deal with past conflicts with a positive outlook. Don’t rush through the step with urgency, yet don’t avoid making amends.
Sometimes, making direct amends to someone may lead to further harm. For example, if you are estranged from a loved one and they will not see you, your indirect alcoholism symptoms amends may involve reflecting on and modifying the behaviors that led to the estrangement. People with substance use disorder (SUD) can cause harm to others, either intentionally or inadvertently. Step 9 of AA’s 12-step program directs people in recovery to take accountability for actions that may have harmed others and to make amends when possible.